1. Wake up to child staring you in the face.
2. Curse as you realize your spouse is fleeing to the spare bedroom.
3. Cajole child into chasing down other parent.
4. Hide under covers.
5. Yell across house to “remind” spouse he has dodged early wake-up approximately 1,572 times this week.
6. Cheer for joy as spouse gets up with child.
7. Run to spare bedroom.
8. Wake up to see child staring at you while holding a toilet bowl brush.
9. Reassure your child that yes, they can clean the toilet this morning as promised last night. (WEIRDO CHILD.)
10. Yell across house to tell spouse to help child clean toilet.
11. Wait for it. . . spouse can’t find the toilet bowl cleaner. Yell the location of the cleaner.
12. Discover a dog has joined you in the bed. Realize soon it will be a child.
13. Get up and lock door.
14. Wait for it. . .child wails upon discovering door is locked.
15. Wait two additional minutes for child to return to tell you “Daddy is making you coffee!” A SNEAKY PLOY TO GET YOU UP.
16. Lie in bed wide awake smelling coffee.
17. Admit defeat. 

Happy Saturday morning! At least I have a clean toilet AND coffee! 

Did I miss any steps? Share your own. Solidarity sisters.