- Wake up to child staring you in the face.
- Curse as you realize your spouse is fleeing to the spare bedroom.
- Cajole child into chasing down other parent.
- Hide under covers.
- Yell across house to “remind” spouse he has dodged early wake-up approximately 1,572 times this week.
- Cheer for joy as spouse gets up with child.
- Run to spare bedroom.
- Wake up to see child staring at you while holding a toilet bowl brush.
- Reassure your child that yes, they can clean the toilet this morning as promised last night. (WEIRDO CHILD.)
- Yell across house to tell spouse to help child clean toilet.
- Wait for it. . . spouse can’t find the toilet bowl cleaner. Yell the location of the cleaner.
- Discover a dog has joined you in the bed. Realize soon it will be a child.
- Get up and lock door.
- Wait for it. . .child wails upon discovering door is locked.
- Wait two additional minutes for child to return to tell you “Daddy is making you coffee!” A SNEAKY PLOY TO GET YOU UP.
- Lie in bed wide awake smelling coffee.
- Admit defeat.
Happy Saturday morning! At least I have a clean toilet AND coffee!
Did I miss any steps? Share your own. Solidarity sisters.
