Thank you for making me a woman

Creator, thank you for making me a woman!

A woman who can birth worlds! Realities! Children! Hopes, dreams, possibilities

A woman who can heal herself, transmute emotions, stare into darkness and find the diamonds hidden within.

The woman who can die and be reborn, over and over again

The woman who can rebuild the world with sisters, true and pure

The woman who can see and feel other possibilities, who can foretell the future and visit the past, healing and leaving flowers for herself and others

The woman who dares to remove her mask! To be raw, naked, true, free…to show a new way for the human being!

The powerful powerful woman who has remained hidden and is ready to rise!

Happy international women’s day! Women, it is our time! I believe in you my beloved sisters. The world needs us: balanced, healed, whole…we can do this.

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Doing the shadow work and facing the dark feminine

Earlier this week I was part of a video chat with my spiritual sisterhood to talk about what it means to face the dark feminine energy and do shadow work. You can watch our video here!

What is the dark feminine? She’s the shadow side of our authentic being which is a body of light, and thus she is very powerful… that is, until we bring her into our conscious awareness. The moment you bring it forward—no cover ups!—is the moment the dark feminine loses any grip on you!

Being a woman in patriarchy is being raised to be the dark feminine… if you go for the programming that is. We are told to be “nice” girls, to sit pretty and keep our mouth shut. (Keep things hidden… engage in cover-ups.) We are raised to be copy cats in every way—the dark feminine can’t be original. She’s afraid of walking her own path. Think about the schooling you may have experienced if you grew up in the United States: copy this art project exactly! Follow this way of thinking exactly! OBEY!

The dark feminine loves gossip, she has low self esteem and envies others. She’s obsessed with the world of form and identifies with it. She doesn’t see herself as sacred. She manipulates through her sexuality. She believes she has no power and is a victim. She runs to the system to protect her and she thrives in white supremacy.

Think of the darkness the United States was founded on: take what isn’t yours and then co-opt their traditions and beliefs as your own, as long as it doesn’t disrupt notions of whiteness and capitalism.

The dark feminine doesn’t believe in true sisterhood. She tears it down. She’s afraid to be herself and trust other women. And yet there are no feminine ways without the sisterhood… so we must work together to heal ourselves and our sisterhood to understand that another way is possible.

Take a look at our video if you are interested in learning more about understanding and transmuting this energy. If you want to learn more about our sisterhood, visit Magdalas.com.

Believing in you

There was a point not that long ago where I didn’t trust myself. It’s strange to remember this struggle because it no longer dominates my thinking. This isn’t to say I don’t get scared or feel vulnerable — I do, and paradoxically it was precisely when the ego was in charge that I felt that vulnerability was a weakness to overcome. Not so. I see my strength in my vulnerability.

What I’ve realized is that a lot of my inner work was removing the brushes and brambles that were getting in the way of truly seeing and hearing the part of me that is connected to source. Like when you garden and so many of those fast-growing weeds take over, you can’t truly see the glorious plant hiding behind all the distractions. Once you remove it you can see clearly. Once you start to see clearly, you are much more aware when a weed pops up and you remove it swiftly.

There comes a point where it’s no longer a debate about whether you can trust in you. It is not an arrogance or a hubris but a quiet strength and inner-knowing. Of course you can do it. You were born for this.

If you aren’t there yet, just keep swimming my friend! You will eventually get there. It takes work and perseverance. I believe in you! But like my beautiful spiritual mother always says, it’s not whether I believe in you…do you believe in you?

“Awakening – Leap of Faith” – beautiful art by Holly Sierra Artwork available for purchase on Etsy

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The greatest help

The greatest help we can give to others is doing the work to reach ourselves.

We can’t control what others project onto us, but we can determine what we send into the world. When we are our own best friend we are able to heal, transmute, align, and BE who we came here to be.

It’s easy to get lost in the hall of mirrors when you look for the answers outside of yourself, or try to “fix” or “help” others. What you need to address is within.

When you reach yourself you become an example to others who are seeking the same within themselves. And that is truly a help.

Beautiful art by https://www.cristinaacosta.com/

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We are in between places

Can you feel it? A pause between old and new, about to leap, about to step into a new era? No longer in the old world but not quite fully embracing the new. (Though it is here!)

Our beautiful planet and universe cycles onward, one era coming to an end as another just beginning.

The end of an epoch of pain and separation. A world of falsity, of masks, of programming that in every way was designed for us to stray from the truth of who we are for real. A paradigm that was rooted in separateness and lack, an “upside-down world” as I’ve been told in meditation! A place that says we are never enough and must find love outside ourselves…

We are being asked to leap into the new! A world of unity. A world that celebrates what we can do with a unified heart. A world that honors the uniqueness of all the creations – including you – but never at the expense of the whole. An era of remembering who we really are – love, the daughter and sons of source – and divine co-creators in this beautiful adventure of life.

It may feel scary — the unknown can be a scary place. But we have nothing to fear. We know how to do this – it’s in our DNA. In fact, we were born for this.

While I tend to be someone who embraces change with gusto, I’ve certainly had times where unknown freaked me out. In my spiritual path I’ve had to face the grief that comes with the shedding of the old — even when the old stink, stank, stunk! Still had to grieve it. Still felt a little sad parting with my old, dysfunctional bits. But ultimately it was worth it, every single damn time. And as many times I can remember when the new was scary, I can also recall sooooo many times when leaps into the void delivered amazing fantastical gifts. Leaps I wouldn’t regret in a million years.

When things get hard and even feel a little scary, remember the times in your own life when leaping into the unknown ultimately paid off.

You can do it. We can do it, together.

We are called to be tiger warriors

Contrary to what you might imagine based on the title of this blog, I am NOT a fan of “love and light” when it comes to spiritual work. My entire spiritual path has been one of deep, transformative shadow work: staring into the dark corners and finding the light hidden within. Spiritual bypassing is the opposite – the idea that we are all “love and light” and therefore need to “keep our vibes high!” The risk of this thinking is that you avoid the intense shadow work necessary to help you and other to grow and evolve spiritually. You also risk letting your shadow rule you if you are unwilling to face it directly. (One example that reaaaaallly gets my goat – the idea that “we all just need to come together and see our unity!” and erase the concerns of BIPOC voices. You see this a lot in spiritual circles. HELL NO! to this.)

In this time and space we’re being called to embrace our inner tiger warrior. I learned about the tiger warriors from my spiritual mother/teacher Magdala Ramirez. The Tiger Warriors are part of the Mayan/Aztec lineage and were trained to understand that we live in a world of “smoky mirrors” that is here to teach us lessons, though it can also easily trick us rule us if we don’t stay vigilant. (See that link for a great book she wrote about the smoky mirror.) It’s always a choice how you respond to the darkness of shame, guilt, fear. The tiger warrior is one who understands their emotional triggers and doesn’t let them rule them. They hunt them down and transmute the wounds, or simply discard the outdated beliefs that no longer belong.

May you embody the tiger warrior and face your shadow with courage and strength. May you hold onto the knowledge that you are LOVE and prepare to kick to the curb the stories that deny this truth. May you observe your emotional reactions and not be ruled by them. May you call upon the part of you who knows how to do this and ask for their guidance. I believe in you! Be strong, warriors of light!

Aztec warriors as depicted in the Codex Mendoza at URL: https://www.ancientpages.com/2016/03/28/fearsome-aztec-eagle-warriors-and-jaguar-warriors-of-mesoamerica/

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Letting go

Letting go of ideas of who you think you are (so much grander than you imagined, so much more infinite.)

Letting go of all the false; the story you tell about yourself and why things are as they are, and why you are destined to this or that. You are not.

Letting go of the beliefs that kept you small and hidden from who you truly are!

Letting go of everything that stands in the way of seeing the truth of things.

Are you ready to let go?

Dancing with the new

The new world is here! Where, you ask, because I see nothing but chaos and despair. And a pandemic. And division. Well, all that’s within the people. If we can let go of what we thought the world was and what we thought it was meant to be, we can let in something new and beautiful. Resist the urge to control and maintain the status quo. Was the status quo really working for anyone anyway?

Art by https://etsy.me/32SU9kW

The magic that happens in flow (aka a story of some green paint)

I have been noticing a new balance in myself where I’m able to not overthink things. Letting go of controlling life, not holding it with obsessive grip. The phrase “Let the light be!” comes to mind. (A phrase that stumped me the first time I heard it. A sign I definitely was NOT letting it be!)

So yesterday I was thinking, I want some color in my family room. No more gray walls (side note: what does it say about the American psyche that gray became the go-to neutral in modern design? I digress). Back to my painting plans. I wanted a mint green color. Fresh and spring-ey! This idea brewed for a couple days. Then yesterday I noticed my bathroom is the exact color I desire. You would think the person who painted it that color less than a year ago would have remembered but alas she did not.

I had a good half gallon left off the color. I was home by myself with about an hour to myself with no plans. Being utterly wild and crazy, I went to the garage and grabbed the paint, found a brush, and just started painting. Right then and there without Pinterest boards and plans and —imagine this—not even knowing if it would look good! If I didn’t I would just paint over it, I thought to myself.

Writing this out it sounds like a big fat “so what” is warranted. But there was a certain magic that happened from the moment I was inspired to have green walls, and the delightful discovery I actually owned the exact color I wanted, and then just doing it, not stopping myself, not pumping the brakes. In some areas of my life this is not a struggle, but in expressing myself outwardly to the world, for a loooing time I hid or held back, overthought or overmanaged, not trusting and overthinking every tiny little choice. Not any more.

I’ve done a lot of inner work to bring my heart and mind in harmony and I’m seeing where it’s paying off in my ways of being in the world.

Finding the balance of masculine and feminine energies in ourselves —yin and yang, right brain and left brain, however you want to put it—isn’t about heart without mind, or mind without heart, or mind overpowering the heart or heart overpowering mind, but the two working in harmony together. A succinct concept but not a simple one, especially in a world of patriarchy, a failed experiment in the mind overpowering the heart at all costs.

Are there areas you struggle to dance life and find yourself putting on the brakes? Are there areas you can trust yourself more?

(I’m almost done painting by the way and I love how it turned out. Might go crazy and—gasp—draw some pretty designs on my wall, inspired by this cool instagrammer saw in a magazine! Why does it feel so rebellious and delightful to draw on a wall? Gonna let my inner two year old loose!)

What the world needs now is love sweet love!

Love in its pure form – all the distorted beliefs within yourself dropped.

Love in its freedom– the heart aligned with the mind, working together in harmony, discernment and expression together!

Love unshackled from pain – the small heart–the one that’s felt so many losses, pains, betrayals–healed by the higher heart connected to source.

Love sweet love.

Image source: https://www.123greetings.com/love/love_etc/sweet_love.html

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