Paradise is…

Cuban coffee.

​ puppy dogs.


Key west man who said, “you wanna take my picture?” I told him I was taking photos to paint later because I’m an artist. He said he’s an artist too–a guitarist who played with Brett Michaels before he joined the marines! Love this place.
 Next up, reef snorkeling. Husband is cranky I ordered the key west breakfast which is taking foreveeerrrrr and he’s like can we please check in fourteen hours early with the boat that’s a 30-sec bike ride away? 


Sitting at the dock now, checked in to keep my man happy. It’s our anniversary after all!

Love from the keys!

Sarah

Hello From the Other Side

I have a confession: I didn’t fully believe my mourning birds.

I’m talking about the birds behind this blog. The birds that came to me and were like, hey, Poppins! HELLO.

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And I was like, Hi?

And they were like, We are your blog’s omen. (Who knew blogs had omens.)

So, I looked it up. Mourning doves represent: MOTHERHOOD, LOVE, AND HOPE AFTER LOSS.

Lovely, right? This is the catch. I DIDN’T FULLY BELIEVE THIS OMEN. I was grieving. I was like, hi, you and your “hope and change” makes for a nice slogan my feathered friends. But I am not with you. Not yet.

I was like, They say that time’s supposed to heal ya, but I aint’ done much healing…

Adele_giphy

Ok I promise, no more Adele lyrics.

Back to those birds: hope, love, blah blah blah. It still felt so far away.

That is, until recently. I’ve had nothing short of a huge shift. A release of grief. A changing of the season of my heart.

I realized yesterday that I have only been writing this blog since November.  I’ve only been writing for four months but it seems like it must be longer because so much has shifted in that time.

I know that the writing played a role in that shift. It helped me to transmute this pain, to take the heavy stuff and perform creative alchemy.

I had a hunch about something and I checked: it turns out that there are more blog posts tagged with love and hope than are tagged with grief. Even in the midst of that pain I was feeling the love.

There is so much I want to share with the dozen of you lovely humans who read my blog. I’ve started drafting some posts about the healing process. Some of it is pretty intense and to be honest, downright spiritual. I will share soon.

But in the meantime, it feels really good to say…

….HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE!

otherside_giphy

(I know, I promised…I just couldn’t resist. What can I san, it’s quite possible that Adele is also my spirit animal.)

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For the Love of Family

I am most definitely emerging from THE GREAT FUNK OF 2016. (Unfortunately not a throwback ’70s band but a very sad and grief-y series of months.)

Making it through to the other side? Oh it feels so good.

When I was deep in the muck I drafted a post about family. How awesome it is and how I couldn’t get through hard stuff without it and omigod can someone please pass me some Kleenex?

Yeah I wasn’t quite ready to write that post. Too emotional. Too much love.

So here I am, back to finish what I started.

Family. THEY ARE THE BEST.

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Where is this chocolate you speak of? Photo source (creative commons license).

So far, no need for tissues. I will continue. 

Recently my brother-in-law, his wife and their adorable two-year-old came to stay with us for almost two weeks. This long-ago planned visit happened to coincide within days of me finding out I was miscarrying.

To quote my sister, the visit was going to be either really good for me or really disastrous. (Love my sister, she tells it like it is.)

Know what? It was really, really good. The polar opposite of disastrous.

They were awesome and totally in-tune to the situation, offering to give space and distance and I’m sure chocolate if I had asked nicely.

The funny thing is, even though I usually burrow deep into the ground during hard times, I didn’t want space or privacy this time around. I wanted family 24-7 to love and embrace me. They did and it was nothing short of wonderful.

During their visit, our kids played together and fought over toys and chased each other with balloons. Meanwhile us adults lounged around and caught up on each others’ lives. We shared meals, tucked our kids into bed and watched Community and Six Feet Under. We talked about the hard stuff. The challenges of parenting, marriage, and yes, even conceiving a second child.

For many years, burrowing worked well-enough when the goal was to shut out further pain. Unfortunately the same door that shuts out the pain also shuts out a lot of people who would have been more than willing to help me through the hard times.

It feels good to be up here in the sunshine, with family.

Plus, I hear they keep the chocolate up here.