I spent a lot of time in therapy, women studies courses and chat sessions about how we can dismantle the patriarchy to discover I wasn't fully getting it. Finally exploring these questions as part of my spiritual work made me see it in a whole knew way.
I think it's time to forgive all the Sarahs. Heck, not just forgive them -- thank them! They were doing the best they could. They had lessons to learn! I couldn't be who I am today without them. Wait, this is sounding like an acceptance speech . . . "I'd like to thank the academy, … Continue reading I’d like to thank all the Sarahs . . .
Certainly I've been thinking about my late mom (Diane), and the grandmother I never met (Elizabeth), and her cousins (names unknown) on the genetic chart, called a pedigree. I've been thinking about other women too.
Debby and Angela, two women I knew and admired, both not much older than myself, who died recently of breast cancer. Circles blackened and crossed out.
Before there were synced calendars and day planners and even before there were trapper keepers, there was a little girl who sat in trees. She sat in the trees for what felt like hours, though it might have been mere minutes. She dreamed, journal-ed and sketched. She transported to a place of joy and bliss, cradled in the crooks of maples and oaks, conversing with imaginary beings.
To accept vitality as your birthright means to accept that these states of being matter in the first place. That joy matters. That how you are is as important as what you do.
Like most people I didn't arrive to these lessons through sitting in the light.
The Heroine’s Journey is about reclaiming our vitality, our joy, and escaping the Wasteland.
The man who gives you a back rub without your permission. The guy who stands a little too close to you on the bus, so close you can smell the alcohol on his breath. The boys who joked and the men who joked and so many jokes but you were never laughing. The jokes you didn't understand because you were too young to understand. The gut punch when you were old enough to finally get what they meant.
I understand that part of this anger is about my own deep wounds. My own story of harm by a mad man--and the perceived betrayal of the otherwise sane people who knew better than to believe a madman and ultimately align with a mad man.
This is also what I know about being wounded: there is no greater pain that not being seen. We don't expect a mad man to see or understand our pain. He's not capable of it. But the ones who we know are capable of empathy and love? We except better.
I've long seen my mom in Mary, but it is only now that I realize my mom saw a bit of Mary in me, too. As I went off to college, graduated and moved to bigger cities in states far from home, got my first suit, my first apartment. As she watched me experiencing all the highs and lows that come with tossing your proverbial hat in the air as a single working woman. As she saw me live out some of the Mary Richards' experiences she never had.