Dear mom

It’s been five years since we said goodbye, but even that phrase “goodbye” doesn’t seem exactly right. We talk all the time. You flood my YouTube feed with Mormon Tabernacle Choir music, and when I ignore you, you up the ante by sending a Mormon tabernacle choir rendition of ABBA’s Dancing Queen. Yeah you knew I’d click it and I did and about died of laughter watching it. Why am I not surprised you’d be pulling off goofy antics even from heaven?

I mean seriously a bell choir is performing ABBA. It’s amazing 😂

You’d be thrilled I took the day off work to grieve/celebrate YOU…and to make some art while rocking out to music. (Don’t worry, I’m not only listening to new wave. I’ll throw some Linda Ronstandt and Streisand in rotation too.)

Mom and me.

We’ll be having a slice of chocolate cake tonight to celebrate your life. Zoey says you get some too, and she’s pretty sure you can eat as much as you want in heaven without getting a belly ache! I bet she’s right. We love you. Keep a listen for the sound of bells….we might put on some tabernacle jams in your honor.

Love,

Sarah Joy

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Calling All Angels

 

We never know when we might be channeling some light. Or reflecting light. I don’t know how it all works. All I know is that yesterday was one of those magical days where it felt like everyone was in the right place at the right time.

Yesterday I took my seat in church choir rehearsal like I always do. Only this time there were four kids in the front row. A ten-year-old boy in front of me put the purple stole up around his ears and made funny faces. A little one sitting to his left stopped in the middle of rehearsal to run to her uncle; her shoes were hurting!

To my immediate left was my friend Jenifer, wise-cracking jokes about the Browns (just like me she has lived in Cleveland and Baltimore–the chances!) and on my right was Judy, who reminds me so much of my mother that I am tempted to turn to her and ask are you a Virgo? 

As we finished rehearsal and took a quick break before service began, I mingled among the ushers, greeters, and perhaps even the croissant table. It was then that a dynamic woman in a smart exercise hoodie approached. I remembered her as being one of the handful of parents who hung out during rehearsal. She must have had a child participating in this special 9-11 memorial service.

She was grinning as she said, “This is going to sound crazy…”

I LOVE conversations that start like this! A kindred spirit.

She told me I looked exactly like her late friend Sabine. Sabine died when she fifty years old. She was an amazing friend and human being. An I looked just like her. The woman (her name was Trish–“rhymes with fish!”) sheepishly admitted that she had even snagged a picture of me the other day at rehearsal so she could show her late friend’s children.

She went on to say that she swore I was channeling Sabine. Especially during the song Calling All Angels. How I was glowing and seemed to have Sabine’s spirit. She knew it sounded crazy but I assured her it was not. Nothing surprises me anymore.

I told her about my mom passing and the weird and wonderful coincidences that have happened since then.

I rejoined the choir and service began. As our multi-generational ensemble sang backup vocals for the Calling All Angels duet, I sang for my mom and for Sabine. I caught Trish’s eye. We both smiled. I looked out the window and saw the yellow butterfly dancing, the one I see every week, and sent love to my mom. 

Oh, and every day you gaze upon the sunset with such love and intensity
Why?
It’s ah, it’s almost as if you could only crack the code then you’d finally understand
What this all means

Oh, but if you could, do you think you would trade in all
All the pain and suffering?
Oh, but then you’d miss the beauty of the light upon this earth
And the, and the sweetness of the leaving

Calling All AngelsCalling All Angels by Jane Siberry & KD Lang.