The heart wants what it wants

The heart wants what it wants. If the heart wants something that triggers intense pain or strong reactions, resist the urge to shut it down. The goal is not to repress what the heart is stirred to express (hopes, losses, despairs, longings) but rather to hold it all in love….and then release. Staying in the flow of life means feeling what needs to be felt. This alone does not make you a victim of life–it’s the story you tell about the feelings that create liberation or victimization.art by Lori Portka.

Advertisements

My mother’s day, as told with Leslie Knope gifs

It’s been almost five years since I lost my mom and just when I think, mother’s day – it’s all good, I’m cool! Totally got this!…well, you can probably guess where this is going.

Let me walk you through all the feels this weekend, assisted with the imagery of Leslie Knope of Parks and Rec. (Gosh I miss that show!)

Me at 8pm Saturday, Mother’s Day Eve, if you will:

giphy1

Me at 9pm on Saturday (after seeing the first sprinklings of mother’s day posts on social media)

giphy4

Me Sunday Morning:

giphy3

Happy and grateful that my mom was my mom. Tears of joy at the love she gave and continues to give me. Tears of sadness that she isn’t with me other than in spirit. Tears of gratitude for my daughter and for being a mom. Tears for losing a pregnancy and struggling with infertility. Like I said, ALL THE FEELS.

giphy8

Sunday progressed and was good. It turns out that once you face the 5,000 pound grieving elephant in the room you feel much better.

Sunday night arrived. Was I ready to look at social media?

giphy6

You guys, I did okay. It was all good.

giphy7

Like I said, no big deal!

giphy10

(Yeah this one doesn’t have to do with anything…just couldn’t resist some awesome Leslie Knope wisdom.)

Hope the day landed gently for those who were struggling with loss. (Also hope all you moms were able to treat yo’self! Literally treat yo’self. Okay I’ll stop now.)