The new world is here! Where, you ask, because I see nothing but chaos and despair. And a pandemic. And division. Well, all that’s within the people. If we can let go of what we thought the world was and what we thought it was meant to be, we can let in something new and beautiful. Resist the urge to control and maintain the status quo. Was the status quo really working for anyone anyway?
I have been noticing a new balance in myself where I’m able to not overthink things. Letting go of controlling life, not holding it with obsessive grip. The phrase “Let the light be!” comes to mind. (A phrase that stumped me the first time I heard it. A sign I definitely was NOT letting it be!)
So yesterday I was thinking, I want some color in my family room. No more gray walls (side note: what does it say about the American psyche that gray became the go-to neutral in modern design? I digress). Back to my painting plans. I wanted a mint green color. Fresh and spring-ey! This idea brewed for a couple days. Then yesterday I noticed my bathroom is the exact color I desire. You would think the person who painted it that color less than a year ago would have remembered but alas she did not.
I had a good half gallon left off the color. I was home by myself with about an hour to myself with no plans. Being utterly wild and crazy, I went to the garage and grabbed the paint, found a brush, and just started painting. Right then and there without Pinterest boards and plans and —imagine this—not even knowing if it would look good! If I didn’t I would just paint over it, I thought to myself.
Writing this out it sounds like a big fat “so what” is warranted. But there was a certain magic that happened from the moment I was inspired to have green walls, and the delightful discovery I actually owned the exact color I wanted, and then just doing it, not stopping myself, not pumping the brakes. In some areas of my life this is not a struggle, but in expressing myself outwardly to the world, for a loooing time I hid or held back, overthought or overmanaged, not trusting and overthinking every tiny little choice. Not any more.
I’ve done a lot of inner work to bring my heart and mind in harmony and I’m seeing where it’s paying off in my ways of being in the world.
Finding the balance of masculine and feminine energies in ourselves —yin and yang, right brain and left brain, however you want to put it—isn’t about heart without mind, or mind without heart, or mind overpowering the heart or heart overpowering mind, but the two working in harmony together. A succinct concept but not a simple one, especially in a world of patriarchy, a failed experiment in the mind overpowering the heart at all costs.
Are there areas you struggle to dance life and find yourself putting on the brakes? Are there areas you can trust yourself more?
(I’m almost done painting by the way and I love how it turned out. Might go crazy and—gasp—draw some pretty designs on my wall, inspired by this cool instagrammer saw in a magazine! Why does it feel so rebellious and delightful to draw on a wall? Gonna let my inner two year old loose!)
I recently purchased the I Ching — The book of changes–and I’m spending every spare moment reading this text. WOW. I’m late to the game on this one.
I’ve been thinking a lot about changes–and I’ve had a lot of messages in meditation lately that nothing is as it seems…that things are massively moving and shifting behind the scenes. Change is in the air! We’ll see what unfolds next. Reading the I Ching feels like a sip of cool water, ahh so refreshing reading this text that embodies so much wisdom of the feminine!
Have you read the I Ching? Do you consult the oracle, throwing coins or sorting the stem stalks of the yarrow plant? 🙂 I’m new to it all and enthralled by it, eager to learn more! Share your experiences or favorite translations. I’m so excited to learn more.
Wishing you a day of beautiful flow!
If a strong, intense emotional landmark arises, see it as a launching pad to take you higher.
Welcome the movement after years, decades, lifetimes of stagnation.
This can be hard when it relates to trauma. Our instinct is to shy away from the overwhelming sensations associated with pain. Our mind wants to convince us that we must stop feeling it at all costs or we will never stop feeling it. Not true.
Instead think of it as a balloon that is popped. The initial sound might startle or frighten but the release is immediate and swift. Poof, gone! Drive the intensity in your favor. Instead of letting it take you in loops round and round (the same old story) let it be a momentum to take you up and out of the old stale story. “That was what my body held, but it is no more, especially after this very intense release!”
Time doesn’t heal—love does! Meet yourself with love and a willingness to see it from a higher perspective. That makes so much difference!
What if freedom isn’t freedom from something (pain, suffering, third dimensional stuff) and instead is the embodiment of your true self, the love that you are? What would that look and feel like?
I’ve been thinking, where am I stopping myself from being free? Where do I cutoff flow, where do I give away my power, where do I shy away from the call of my heart, from the embracing of who I truly am, which is love?
Freedom is available every moment, every second, if we choose it!
Something’s been building in me and it’s this desire–really, more like a lion’s ROAR!–demanding I remove ALL THE MASKS that I wear. To let it flow. To be 1000% authentically me in every interaction whether with my family or friends or colleagues or strangers at the supermarket.
When we put on a mask we cut ourselves off from source. When we wear the mask we lower our vibration to meet those around us in a desire to fit in, not realizing that we are love and don’t need to seek it from anyone outside of ourselves.
For a long time many of my masks have involved hiding my spirituality and the wisdom of the teachings that have been shared with me. In hiding the teachings I dishonor them, and I don’t want to do that anymore.
What are the masks you are tired of wearing? Let’s toss them into a great bonfire and light up the skies with our freedom!
I’m done with pushing. I don’t like it, I don’t want it, you can have it back thank you very much.
I’m talking about the energetic pushing. (Not the physical pushing – though definitely not into that at all!) The powering through, or powering over, a situation. Not my jam anymore. The results of this shift into flow and out of struggle have been pretty awesome too. Like for example, our struggles with THE READING LADY. (YES ALL CAPS.)
My daughter recently started seeing a speech therapist for reading challenges. We were referred to a woman by an Occupational Therapist my daughter loved. But from the get-go the speech therapist rubbed me the wrong way. It’s the kind of thing that you can’t exactly pinpoint though now I can see it: she was a pusher! She was someone who embodied powering through and over challenges. (Plus, she just wasn’t nice!)
So of course since I’m working on finding flow and not PUSHING I instantly decided not to see this woman again and found someone else, right? Oh no, of course not.
Yes, for several weeks we got up SUPER early for a butt-crack of dawn appointment with this woman, who pursed her lips when my child dared to let her eyes wander off the written page, and gave warnings when my daughter played with the shaving cream a little too long as they practiced making letters.
It’s no surprise to hear my daughter started to push back against going to these early morning, super-not-fun sessions! I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t like the lady either! So why exactly were we there??
And then I remember I’m done pushing and forcing. As fate would have it our reading lady was gone on vacation for a bit. During that time I found a new therapist. I ignored the part of me that said “oh but why can’t you be grateful for the person you found” or “yes she is grumbly but she knows her stuff!” or “What if you can’t find someone as good? What if you end up with someone worse?” and alllll that nonsense we tell ourselves. As soon as I shifted my focus asking for divine assistance to help me connect with someone who would serve the highest good in this situation, friends provided not one but two recommendations for therapists who were closer, kinder, and weren’t described as being at all like Dana Carvey’s church lady.
Fast forward to today: we LOVE our new therapist. My daughter looks forward to her appointment! And interestingly enough, the new therapist did mention that she observed my daughter doesn’t always keep her eyes on her, but that she also observed that she is retaining the information even though she appears distracted. The therapist was fine with this but wanted to let us know in case a teacher complains that my daughter isn’t paying attention in class. Fascinating difference right?!
OH, and my daughter is soaring with her reading.
No pushing! Finding balance and flow!
Now it’s time to graduate from kindergarten so to speak and apply this concept to the mother of all struggles we’re currently facing: bedtime routine. (DUN DUN DUN!!!)
Have you found the flow and dropped the struggle in any area of your life? How’s it going?