There was a point not that long ago where I didn’t trust myself. It’s strange to remember this struggle because it no longer dominates my thinking. This isn’t to say I don’t get scared or feel vulnerable — I do, and paradoxically it was precisely when the ego was in charge that I felt that vulnerability was a weakness to overcome. Not so. I see my strength in my vulnerability.
What I’ve realized is that a lot of my inner work was removing the brushes and brambles that were getting in the way of truly seeing and hearing the part of me that is connected to source. Like when you garden and so many of those fast-growing weeds take over, you can’t truly see the glorious plant hiding behind all the distractions. Once you remove it you can see clearly. Once you start to see clearly, you are much more aware when a weed pops up and you remove it swiftly.
There comes a point where it’s no longer a debate about whether you can trust in you. It is not an arrogance or a hubris but a quiet strength and inner-knowing. Of course you can do it. You were born for this.
If you aren’t there yet, just keep swimming my friend! You will eventually get there. It takes work and perseverance. I believe in you! But like my beautiful spiritual mother always says, it’s not whether I believe in you…do you believe in you?
Can you feel it? A pause between old and new, about to leap, about to step into a new era? No longer in the old world but not quite fully embracing the new. (Though it is here!)
Our beautiful planet and universe cycles onward, one era coming to an end as another just beginning.
The end of an epoch of pain and separation. A world of falsity, of masks, of programming that in every way was designed for us to stray from the truth of who we are for real. A paradigm that was rooted in separateness and lack, an “upside-down world” as I’ve been told in meditation! A place that says we are never enough and must find love outside ourselves…
We are being asked to leap into the new! A world of unity. A world that celebrates what we can do with a unified heart. A world that honors the uniqueness of all the creations – including you – but never at the expense of the whole. An era of remembering who we really are – love, the daughter and sons of source – and divine co-creators in this beautiful adventure of life.
It may feel scary — the unknown can be a scary place. But we have nothing to fear. We know how to do this – it’s in our DNA. In fact, we were born for this.
While I tend to be someone who embraces change with gusto, I’ve certainly had times where unknown freaked me out. In my spiritual path I’ve had to face the grief that comes with the shedding of the old — even when the old stink, stank, stunk! Still had to grieve it. Still felt a little sad parting with my old, dysfunctional bits. But ultimately it was worth it, every single damn time. And as many times I can remember when the new was scary, I can also recall sooooo many times when leaps into the void delivered amazing fantastical gifts. Leaps I wouldn’t regret in a million years.
When things get hard and even feel a little scary, remember the times in your own life when leaping into the unknown ultimately paid off.
The new world is here! Where, you ask, because I see nothing but chaos and despair. And a pandemic. And division. Well, all that’s within the people. If we can let go of what we thought the world was and what we thought it was meant to be, we can let in something new and beautiful. Resist the urge to control and maintain the status quo. Was the status quo really working for anyone anyway?
I recently purchased the I Ching — The book of changes–and I’m spending every spare moment reading this text. WOW. I’m late to the game on this one.
I’ve been thinking a lot about changes–and I’ve had a lot of messages in meditation lately that nothing is as it seems…that things are massively moving and shifting behind the scenes. Change is in the air! We’ll see what unfolds next. Reading the I Ching feels like a sip of cool water, ahh so refreshing reading this text that embodies so much wisdom of the feminine!
Have you read the I Ching? Do you consult the oracle, throwing coins or sorting the stem stalks of the yarrow plant? 🙂 I’m new to it all and enthralled by it, eager to learn more! Share your experiences or favorite translations. I’m so excited to learn more.
As the feminine energy rises, anything distorted in our lives will be thrown into most obvious chaos. The call is for us to heal the distortion and bring her back into balance in ourselves. The outer will follow.
My own tendency when life is thrown into chaos–and it’s happened plenty of times, 2018 being a particularly doozy–is to desperately cling to that outer world falling apart and try to “fix it.” Speaking of 2018, I remember a desperate phone call that year to my spiritual mother explaining the SEVERE anxiety my then five-year-old was experiencing. She said, mijita, your daughter is feeling you. She’s feeling your pain. DAMN. No mother wants to hear that they are the cause of their child’s suffering, and yet don’t you know that she was correct. I did some intense inner work, healing, transmuting and sure enough my daughter responded in kind. The anxiety practically disappeared over night.
Patriarchy has told us that the way to resolving any conflict is through the outside, but the feminine ways teach us to go inward and then bring those truths out. Our world is in chaos because humans are in chaos. As we each do our work we’ll create a ripple that brings alignment back to ourselves and our communities.
Earlier this week I had a rough couple of days where I found myself navigating a ton of dense energy. After I emerged to the other side I started thinking about what it taught me. I was surprised to find all this stuff pour out of me, a list really of the ways I’ve learned to manage energy in hard times. I thought, I’ve got to share this!
So here it is, the first part of most likely a longer list of…
Things to remember when you are passing through hard times:
Nothing is permanent, not even this moment of crappiness! Ride the wave.
Is this even my energy that I’m feeing? Am I feeling a loved one who might be in pain? Is this collective energy? Is this ancestral? Step back and assess. Sometimes knowing that makes a big difference.
Am I under attack?
Is it heyoka energy? (The trickster!) Don’t buy it– this energy is here to test me and poke at me! I don’t have to take the bait!
I AM not this…return to the center, the source, the larger heart!
Observe the emotion but don’t identify with it!
Is something rising up to be released? Observe and release it! Don’t judge the experience.
Can I see it from another perspective?
What’s the medicine? What is this experience teaching me…can I uncover the lesson? What gifts are coming about because of this experience?
Have I asked for divine assistance? I have free will. I must ask for guidance, protection, help, etc…
I’m never alone! Feel into the love of the mother/source/God/the divine I AM presence.
I thought I’d introduce myself to readers new and old. Lots has changed since I started this blog!
We’re all in this space of rebirth, even the planet herself as she rages with fires of purification and waters of renewal. Personally, I’m being called to bring more of my self outward after a long (very long) inward journey. It’s a little scary stepping out!! But I know can’t keep the wisdom or the lessons to the myself because they aren’t mine to begin with. They’re meant to be shared with you dear reader!
When I started this blog my world felt topsy turvy and rightly so because many MANY things in my little world came crashing down. All of them for good reason, though I didn’t know it at the time! I came to understand that the old ways just wouldn’t work anymore. Something was calling me home to myself and the whole situation was at times ridiculously confusing to me. Everything I had attachments to–wanting to have another child,wanting to start a proper career in the law–crumbled like dust. I look back at that confused, exhausted and tapped out woman and I hardly recognizer her as me. That was seven years ago but might has well have been many lifetimes ago!
Recently after working with some clients who are really struggling, I was thinking about how so many in the world are at their root needing hope. I thought, wow if only people knew that it will be ok, they will be ok! And then with the subtly of a cartoon piano falling from the sky, I heard source cackling at me going, GEE IF ONLY SOMEONE COULD SHARE THEIR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF LIVING THROUGH DESPAIR AND COMING OUT BETTER THAN EVER AT THE END. Ohhhhh. So that’s what you want me to do! (Face palm. Lol)
Our world en masse is facing so much and reckoning with so much. But there is nothing to fear. There is a grander plan that is pushing you to a place that will bring you home to yourself, urging you or in some cases bonking you over the head with the message! So many are living through nothing short of terror, with fires raging outside their door, pandemics lurking outside the masks, protests roaring in the streets. Breathe deep. This is the definition of an initiation and is painful and hard. Frankly it sucks. It is meant to wake you from your slumber. I’s awakening medicine in yourself you didn’t know you had, gifts that were dormant. Lives longing to be lived.
We aren’t of this world of pain and suffering and joy is our birthright. Hard to see when the world is burning but keep in mind the old must fall before the new rises. Whatever you are going through, know I send you love and blessings that you path through it all with as much ease and grace possible.