Nobody is getting sleep in our house lately. The kid seems to be getting too much sleep at preschool nap time plus allergies and colds and high-spirited-child. No sleep. No time for watching Jane the Virgin before bed. (Me, not the child.)
Ok, I’m done whining.
But first, a story. A humorous story where I thought I could perhaps FIX this lack of sleep thing!
I read about some music that has been proven by science to be the most relaxing and I thought, a HA! WE WILL TRY THIS.
So while my husband was trying to get the kid to sleep I listened to it to try it out. I nearly fell asleep. Oh this was good.
When it was (inevitably) my turn to take over trying to get this child to go the f to sleep, I brought my handy music playlist.
This is a recap of how it went down:
Me: “We are listening to nighttime music.”
(Turns on ambient-ish music on iphone.)
Child: “I WANT TO SEE! I WANT TO SEE!”
Me: “NO! There is nothing to see. You listen with your ears.”
(Places phone high, high up where child cannot reach.)
Child: bouncing on bed to music.
Me: Yelling, cajoling. Finally gets kid to lay down in sleep position.
Several minutes pass. Music is weird and includes rainstorm sounds.
Child: Sits straight up in bed. “What is that sound?? It is not raining! Why is it raining in the music!”
Me: “It is supposed to relax you! Just LISTEN! AND GO. TO. SLEEP.”
Music nears the end of six minutes. Child is twitching and falling into sleep. Omigoditisactuallyworking.
KID WAKES UP.
Child: “I want the music again!”
Annnnd back to square one.
(These small beings eventually grow up and actually sleep. Unassisted. Right??)